"Here comes the fat doctor." In reference to the overweight pediatrician in our practice. I'm pretty sure the boys didn't need shots that day, but they got 'em.
"Are you a man or woman?" Asked while at the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts. I was scared to drink my coffee.
"He's the oldest person here so he's going to die first." Not a threat issued to my 84-year-old grandfather, just a statement of fact.
"It's Mr. Old Creepy!" Literally shouted as my neighbor walked down our street. He's really not old or creepy. I was considering shouting happily, "Good job remembering that line from Scooby Doo!" and giving a jaunty wave. Instead I kind of hid.
"Are you growing another baby? Because your tummy looks big." Directed to me, as I sat like a slug on the couch. Thanks a lot, kid.