|It's not an act of defiance...|
|...it's developmentally appropriate...|
|...to body-slam your brother.|
I also learned that if you warn a boy that a behavior is too dangerous and he might get hurt, then he is basically a mindless zombie overcome by an evolutionary urge to engage in the risky behavior. Finally, I learned that competition and aggressive rough play are deep-seated needs in the healthy development of boys.
It's a classic case of, "it's not you, it's me." My boys aren't actively defying me, they are just fulfilling their testosterone-tainted destinies. Gurian argues (and I can't believe I remember this so clearly. I forgot two massively important things this morning but my brain retains THIS information) that the problem isn't boys' behavior but how society (or Mom and Dad) responds to their behavior.
With that in mind, I have laid off some of my rules against wrestling, tackling, tumbling, and play-fighting. I do maintain a strict "no karate in the van" policy mostly because I can't karate chop and drive at the same time.