Ethylene gas is the most produced organic compound in the world and it dawned on me that my children are contributing their fair share. If you keep my children in a closed area together I now believe that some kind of off-gassing occurs that incites bad behavior to ripen. My own aging is hastened, and the entire evening is eventually spoiled.
Fruit importers developed environmentally controlled shipping containers to control the ethylene pathway and preserve the fruit until right before it arrived in the grocery store.
I also employ environmental controls to mitigate the spoilage of the fruit of my loins. As the vapors of bad behavior reach unsustainable levels, I attempt to block their receptors by offering snacks, a rotation system of one-on-one time with a parent, or just opening the backdoor and shoving my produce outside.
Since ethylene is also used as an anesthetic, when things get too wild, I may resort to shutting everyone in a room with ripening bananas. The door won't open until it's all quiet.