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Wednesday, April 15, 2020

We Got a Puppy and I Have Questions

We got a puppy. And he is cute.

His name is Beckham and he's a 16 week old schnoodle. (Autocorrect changed that to schnozzle and that's funny). He's a great dog. Barely barks. The first time we heard him bark was at his own reflection. He sleeps great, plays great, and is normally progressing through house training.

But I haven't had a dog in 12 years. And I haven't ever raised a dog from puppyhood. So like the good, analytical, practical, controlling Virgo that I am, I have a lot of questions.

1. How many times should a puppy poop?
2. How much should he eat?
3. Is he scratching too much?
4. Am I playing with him enough?
5. Am I playing with him too much?
6. Should I brush him every day?
7. Can I bathe him more than once every two weeks?
8. Will he ever walk nicely?
9. Is he a power chewer?
10. Will his coat change color when he becomes an adult?
11. Does he like me?
12. Does he like his food?
13. Is he napping enough?
14. Are we giving him too many treats?
15. How big will he get?
16. Does he know his name?
17. Does he know his name and is just ignoring me?
18. Is he smart?
19. Is he smarter than I think he is?
20. Is he always going to be this quiet?
21. Is he sniffing because he has to pee?
22. What's his favorite toy?
23. Are his eyebrows too long?
24. Is he the cutest dog ever?
25. Will he eat his baby teeth?
26. Why is he so interested in eating rocks?

And a big puzzler:

Why did he gnaw on the sidewalk? (I recommend volume on for full effect.)

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